When Creepers Attack

Yesterday my day was invaded by many, many creepers. Being the creeper magnet that I am, I should not be shocked by this and yet I always am.

Yesterday I went to the mall with my friend, Kari, to have conveyor belt sushi (at a restaurant next to the mall) and go to a movie. I’d never had sushi before and I loved it. :D I’m excited to go again!

After we left the sushi restaurant and actually entered the mall, we still had a couple hours to kill before our movie started so we headed for the Apple Store so I could check out the new 27″ iMac¹.

On our way, a crazy kiosk man comes at us from the side, shoves dixie cups containing a mysterious melon-colored liquid into our hands, and commands us to drink. He kept promising there wasn’t tequila in it².

And you know what we did?

WE DRANK IT. Our only excuse was that we were frightened of the crazy kiosk man who kept talking about tequila and how he bites his nails. He also demanded we come over to his kiosk (no idea which one it was!) and let him perform an unnamed “procedure” which would only take 50 seconds. At this point, I inch around and hide behind Kari. We decline his offer about 8 times and declare we have a movie to catch and then make a break for it.

The fact that the movie didn’t start for over two hours? Minor detail.

The first thing we both do, as soon as we reach our Apple Store refuge, is pull out our phones and tweet that shit so fast. You know you’re a little addicted when… </nerds>

We’ve decided that side of the mall is dead to us now. We can never return.

Then we saw Cirque du Freak which wasn’t as bad as I was expecting! Despite its flaws, I actually enjoyed it–it was funny. However, I have never seen a movie filled with so many damn creepers in it. And everybody just went along with the creepers, without mentioning the fact that they were clearly the creepiest creepers who ever creeped!

And on the way home, Kari and I were convinced the bus driver was going to kill us all. The PA system crackled and in a super-creepy and wheezy voice, informed us that the bus was past Tukwila Boulevard or something. Then he kept randomly stopping the bus on the side of the road for a few moments in random, completely dark areas and we kept having these “Oh my God, where the hell are we? Are we going to die?!!” moments every time it happened. I kept seeing a stereotypical horror movie play out in my head. The driver would slowly get up from his seat and turn to face the passengers. Perhaps a large scar would grace his face. And then we’d all effing die and that would be the beginning of the horror film. We’d be dead before the title even showed.

He also blew right past a group of teenage girls standing at the bus stop despite the fact that bus is the only bus that stops at that stop. It may have been the luckiest thing that ever happened to him because I’m surprised I made it out of there alive.

1. I’m trying to decide between a brand new 27″ iMac (the one with the 2.8GHz i7 processor) and a refurbished MacBook Pro (17″, antiglare, 3.06GHz Core 2 Duo) and wasn’t sure if a 27″ screen is too huge for the space I have. Another post is in the works about this. ↩
2. Klaus (aka Ambs) says: ………….. if someone’s like “THERE IS NO TEQUILA,” that means there is rum. ↩

Things I Have Done Instead of My Homework

If there’s one thing I completely pwn at, it is procrastination. I have it down, pat.

So far in the past 21 hours I’ve been awake I have managed to do these things instead of my homework:

1. Talk on the phone with one of my best friends for four hours. Yeah, really. She lives in Alaska right now, unfortunately, whereas I still live in Seattle, so we don’t get to talk as often as we’d like, but when we do? We talk forever. It’s pretty much ridiculous.
2. Squealed at the ridiculous amount of adorable at Cute Overload with aforementioned friend.
3. Read 85% of Down to the Bone by Mayra Lazarus Dole which I really, really like. Reading it makes me hungry! So much talk of Cuban food, so little time! If it wasn’t for the fact that my bus for school leaves in four hours and I haven’t finished my paper yet, I would be finishing it right now!
4. Watched Trembling Before G-d, a documentary about gay and lesbian orthodox Jews. Heartbreaking, but fantastic at the same time.
5. Written an infinite amount of lists about what I should be doing.
6. Began NaBloPoMo at my LiveJournal.
7. Wrote about 400 words for NaNoWriMo–though I intend on writing about 3,000-4,000 words today after the long-ass nap I plan on taking when I get home from classes. Add me as a writing buddy! I’m pumpkincarriage.
8. A million other things I probably didn’t need to do, but did anyway.
9. Wrote this post.

Yeah, seriously, I am the world’s biggest procrastinator. The other day I was procrastinating by reading articles on how to quit procrastinating. Of course, I mostly opened a billion articles in a billion tabs, then just scanned a few and closed the rest and went to do something more fun instead.

Considering the amount I procrastinate, it’s a wonder I actually manage to keep good grades.

How bad do you guys procrastinate? Or how do you avoid it?

Film Review: The Bourne Ultimatum

Title: The Bourne Ultimatum [2007]
Director: Paul Greengrass
Writers: Tony Gilroy, Scott Z. Burns, George Nolfi, Robert Ludlum (novel)
Starring: Matt Damon, Julia Stiles, David Strathaim, Scott Glenn, Joan Allen
Genres: action, mystery, thriller

Was this film shot during an earthquake?

The excessive shaky-cam made me feel as if I was having a bad trip while riding the the Zipper repeatedly after eating one too many corn dogs. After the first half-hour, I managed to adjust. Thankfully, it didn’t manage to go to that truly terrible MTV Cribs place. That would have been unforgivable.

Despite the shaky-cam, I liked this film. It was definitely enjoyable, though I still prefer the first film of the series. This one left me wondering if they’re going to be making another sequel, probably called The Bourne Legacy after the sequel to Robert Ludlum’s original trilogy written by Eric Van Lustbader, despite the entire lack of plot similarities. Many questions were raised and ultimately left unanswered.

The Bourne series has taught me hundreds of things about life and by ‘life’ I mean evading authorities and killing the government. But as I lack the patience to type out the entire list, I will share a few of the highlights.

1. You can get hit in the face a million times and not get a single bruise.
2. If you get shot, makes sure to do it near a body of water of some sort. An ocean is ideal, but a river will work out as well. If you do not have a body of water to lose your memory and/or swim away in, sucks to be you (unless you’re Jason Bourne in which case you will figure something out).
3. NYPD cars do not have air bags. Screw high-speed chases.
4. Always do what Jason Bourne says. If you don’t, he may not directly kill you, but you will still die.
5. Airport security and arriving at the airport hours ahead of time doesn’t apply if you’re the CIA’s most wanted assassin.
6. Jason Bourne is fucking invincible. The end.

I feel the need to add that I actually like Matt Damon. Mostly I like Matt Damon when Ben Affleck is nowhere nearby, the exception being Dogma, because Ben Affleck grates on my nerves. Matt Damon as Jason Bourne is, quite frankly, a BAMF no matter how unrealistic any bit of this series is. Definitely fun-to-watch action thrillers that don’t involve the President of the United States (aka Harrison Ford) fighting off 40 terrorists on Air Force One. Which, please, Gary Oldman the head terrorist guy with guns would totally pwn a decrepit politician. But that’s another review for another day.

I’d Pay 10 Dollars to See That. Maybe.

Minesweeper, The Movie. If anything ever has always needed to be a live-action movie, it’s Minesweeper.

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