Back to Home
I wish my life was boring.

Zombie Survival Guide, Part I: Stages

The films have been telling about the inevitable for years. One day you will probably be forced to fight for your life during a zombie outbreak. A lot of what tactics will be necessary depends on what stage the outbreak is and what, if any, enforcements are called in by the government.

Don’t be fooled: the government probably can’t protect you. They will be underprepared, undersupplied, and understaffed. In the case of a Stage II or III zombie outbreak, the person in charge of your country’s emergency management service will probably be sacked or pressured into “early retirement” or resignation by the public and his or her superiors for his failure to contain and properly manage the outbreak.

In the case of a Stage IV outbreak, the people behind emergency management will be dead, undead, or hiding in Antarctica.

Stage I Outbreak

Characteristics: Usually contained in small developing nations or rural areas of developed nations. Small number of zombies. Relatively small amount of human casualties. Civilian response expected. Law enforcement response possible. Government cover-up and media blackout likely. Maximum duration of two weeks. Your town may become the next Roswell, only with zombies.

General Advice: Option One: Leave town. Option Two: Sit tight. Gather weapons. Reinforce your doors and windows. Do not leave your home. Wait it out. Should it progress, consult the Stage II section.

Stage II Outbreak

Characteristics: Urban areas and rural areas with higher population density at risk. Less populated rural areas also at risk for large, sprawling outbreak covering a couple hundred kilometres. More than 100 zombies. Several hundred human casualties possible. Low-level military response expected. Government cover-up difficult. Media blackout unlikely, but possible. Duration up to a month or so.

General Advice: Get away from infected area. Go on holiday. Avoid islands.

Stage III Outbreak

Characteristics: Thousands of undead. Initial widespread panic. Riots and looting expected. State of emergency will be declared. Infected zone will be quarantined. Large-scale military response definite. Curfew, rations, and other restrictions probable. Government cover-up and media blackout impossible, unless they are dead. Duration could be several months.

General Advice: Join or create a group. Loot the markets for non-perishable foodstuffs and the last chocolates you may ever see before others get to them first. Stock up on petrol and ammunition. Reinforce your zombie shelter. Be prepared for government-led action to fail or for advance to a Stage IV outbreak.

Stage IV Outbreak

Characteristics: Total destruction. Billions of human casualties. Undead outnumber humans. Governments will disintegrate. Bands of surviving civilians will be only form of militia. Extinction of humanity likely. Indefinite duration.

General Advice: Stick with your group. Find uniquely skilled survivors to add to your team. Fortify your shelter for long-term. Plan on rebuilding society should you survive.

Part two of the guide will cover necessary skills and be more guide-like.

9 Comments

9 Comments

  1. Amanda says:

    Have you seen Death Proof? You’ve pretty much nailed all the steps one by one. :P

  2. Amanda says:

    Wait scratch that. Not Death Proof, the other half of Grindhouse instead. Planet Terror?

  3. Donna says:

    Actually, no. I really meant to go watch it when it was at the cinema, but never got around to it. I should really rent it sometime.

  4. Exene says:

    There sure are a lot of zombie survival guides all over the internet. Would be interesting if it would actually happen. I wonder what zombies would eat without humans. Well they don’t really need to feed they just want to.

  5. Britney says:

    Great post lol. “Avoid islands” reminds me of the Dawn of the Dead remake.

  6. Rachael says:

    Have you ever seen “28 days later”? I have a feeling you’d like it…

  7. Sarai says:

    I have to admit, I’m wishing really hard I become a zombie by Stage 4 because it sounds dreadful. Forget surviving – let’s take over.

  8. Donna says:

    Have you ever seen “28 days later”? I have a feeling you’d like it…

    Ha, I have seen it. Your feeling is correct. ;) I actually watched 28 Weeks Later recently as well.

    I have to admit, I’m wishing really hard I become a zombie by Stage 4 because it sounds dreadful. Forget surviving – let’s take over.

    Seriously. At the point where I’m one of only several people left alive, I think it’s really just time to go unless, perhaps, the authors of all the book series I’m reading are safeguarded and continuing to write. Perhaps then I might live.

    …that’s probably the nerdiest thing I’ve said in a while. Besides “you know how I like three-ring hole punchers”.

  9. Rachael says:

    I really liked 28 weeks later too! Even if you hate us Brits, we do make some good horror movies…

    Oh! Watch “The Descent”. That’s another British horror movie about kinda zombies. They’re “more” undead rather than stereotypical zombies. It’s great. Six women, a dark cave, undead… what more do you need from a film!

Leave a Reply

Line breaks are automatic. Your email address will not be displayed.

Allowed XHTML: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>