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Film Review: The Bourne Ultimatum

The Bourne Ultimatum [2007]
★★★☆☆

Title: The Bourne Ultimatum [2007]
Director: Paul Greengrass
Writers: Tony Gilroy, Scott Z. Burns, George Nolfi, Robert Ludlum (novel)
Starring: Matt Damon, Julia Stiles, David Strathaim, Scott Glenn, Joan Allen
Genres: action, mystery, thriller

Was this film shot during an earthquake?

The excessive shaky-cam made me feel as if I was having a bad trip while riding the the Zipper repeatedly after eating one too many corn dogs. After the first half-hour, I managed to adjust. Thankfully, it didn’t manage to go to that truly terrible MTV Cribs place. That would have been unforgivable.

Despite the shaky-cam, I liked this film. It was definitely enjoyable, though I still prefer the first film of the series. This one left me wondering if they’re going to be making another sequel, probably called The Bourne Legacy after the sequel to Robert Ludlum’s original trilogy written by Eric Van Lustbader, despite the entire lack of plot similarities. Many questions were raised and ultimately left unanswered.

The Bourne series has taught me hundreds of things about life and by ‘life’ I mean evading authorities and killing the government. But as I lack the patience to type out the entire list, I will share a few of the highlights.

  1. You can get hit in the face a million times and not get a single bruise.
  2. If you get shot, makes sure to do it near a body of water of some sort. An ocean is ideal, but a river will work out as well. If you do not have a body of water to lose your memory and/or swim away in, sucks to be you (unless you’re Jason Bourne in which case you will figure something out).
  3. NYPD cars do not have air bags. Screw high-speed chases.
  4. Always do what Jason Bourne says. If you don’t, he may not directly kill you, but you will still die.
  5. Airport security and arriving at the airport hours ahead of time doesn’t apply if you’re the CIA’s most wanted assassin.
  6. Jason Bourne is fucking invincible. The end.

I feel the need to add that I actually like Matt Damon. Mostly I like Matt Damon when Ben Affleck is nowhere nearby, the exception being Dogma, because Ben Affleck grates on my nerves. Matt Damon as Jason Bourne is, quite frankly, a BAMF no matter how unrealistic any bit of this series is. Definitely fun-to-watch action thrillers that don’t involve the President of the United States (aka Harrison Ford) fighting off 40 terrorists on Air Force One. Which, please, Gary Oldman the head terrorist guy with guns would totally pwn a decrepit politician. But that’s another review for another day.

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